In breaking news, we have an unlikely and heartbreaking follow up to a story last week featuring The Angel of Horsancing. Gemma Coghlan, that very angel, has fallen to her demise after trying to dance while on a moving horse. Unfortunately, her passing was quite public, seen by hundreds of thousands of spectators as she performed at the downtown arena.

We caught up with her sobbing mother, Ma Coghlan. “Gemma got hit on the head with a rock, and ever since then the devil done got into her, and it’s been nothing but Horsancing!! I guess she finally did what she always wanted to — she done danced on top of a horse’s saddle whilst that horse was running at full speed!”

As injuries continue to mount, authorities are begging the public to discontinue dancing on moving horses. If you or a loved one suffers from the debilitating need to dance on a moving horse, please contact our help line, 1-800-HORSIES, immediately.