Don’t Call Me Doctor

To honor the medical professionals that work tirelessly around the clock to keep us healthy, we bring you the courageous story of a man who wouldn’t settle for being a registered nurse practitioner — a man who would eventually fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a doctor of medicine — and a man who would quickly become an inspiration to others seeking to fulfill their medicinal dreams.

Not three separate men, but one man with the power of three — a triple threat if you will — with curly long hair and a vacant stare that looks incredibly cool. Born in Seattle, WA, Dr. Kurt Blaylock began his working life as an ARNP, with a strong commitment to helping patients overcome personal trauma with music. We sat down with him after a long shift.

“I’ve always loved helping people,” he began almost abruptly after a long pause in which he’d ‘zoned-out’ looking toward the ceiling. He then shifted his almost forced, absent gaze to a place on the wall above my left shoulder.

“I was perfectly fine with just being an ANRP, ya’ know?” he continued half mumbling. “But there was one hitch with that life choice — and that’s my affinity for wearing lab coats and carrying around a clipboard. I just love writing down my thoughts as I stroll through town, man.” He began to fade back into a blank gaze before adding, “Hey, the world is my laboratory.”

Unfortunately, Dr. Blaylock’s love of wearing lab coats combined with his tall stature often had people mistaking him for an MD. This, of course, enraged the passionate ARNP, who knew that on any given day of the week, a medical doctor could handle four times the workload. He even took to carrying an illustrative picture defining the two.

“It wasn’t fair, man!” he proclaimed as he removed the picture from his lab coat. “I mean I wasn’t going to let them pull the shades down on it all!” He got up and began to pace around the room until finally showing it to me and tapping his finger aggressively over a stick figure labeled ARNP. “I’d shake my fists and yell at any idiot that would listen — ‘Hey man! Don’t call me doctor! It’s not fit to! Look at the picture I keep! I’m just an ARNP!’” With a huff, he finally sat back down.

It’s like they were in love with the idea of me being an MD. So one day I thought to myself — why hold the hand that holds me down — am I right?  And I decided to become one. It was hard though — money was tight in those days. After living on the street for a while, I had to take on a roommate and everything — a guy named Vedder. Kind of a head case.” He paused for a moment to hum a low and manly ditty. “But I studied hard, took the tests, and the day finally came when I got my certification,” he continued.

“I was alone — listless you might say — sitting at the breakfast table. I looked around and noticed that the room was otherwise empty. The letter was in front of me, and upon opening it to find out that I was, now, officially a doctor, I jumped up and declared proudly — albeit a bit loudly — that ‘you may now call me doctor!” He mimicked the event with a twitch of his upper brow and a few musical ‘yee—aahs!!’

He then began again. ”The volume of my voice was amplified in the emptiness of that room, and I think that my roommate must have overheard, in part, because he exclaimed the word ‘daughter!’ and then an ‘aha that’s it!’ I rushed into the living room just as he was running out of the door and I never saw him again. I learned later that he had formed some sort of goth band, but I doubt that it ever went anywhere.”

Well congratulations Dr. Blaylock. Your story will most certainly inspire other ARNPs to finally fulfill their lifelong dreams of becoming MDs!

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