Tag: Max and Grace Studios
-
That Day in Leningrad
I ate too many shrimp in the fall of ’64 my belly ached I couldn’t take it anymore I tooted once or twice and then there were more as I became the one who had to use a bathroom in Leningrad I searched high and low for a place to go but I was turned away or told…
-
The Power of Fire Personal Organizer
Having trouble making meetings on time? Did you miss your own birthday because you got sidetracked by another meeting? Are you scheduling a meeting right now?? You need to get organized. Welcome to your new life 2.0 with the Power of Fire Personal Organizer. Just write your appointments onto a slip of paper and toss…
-
Proud to be a Republidemoplicratoplican
In a stunning first, numerous conservative and liberal leaders have decided to join forces today. The announcement came amidst rumors on Capitol Hill that elected officials have finally ‘put aside their differences’ and will now focus their energy on ‘working for the common good of the people.’ Effectively creating a third party, they unanimously agreed that…
-
The Classic Story of Tony Macaroni
The entertainment world was set ablaze Tuesday when The Classic Story of Tony Macaroni was released to eager movie-goers in theaters across the United States. Touted as the only true story of his life, and personally endorsed by Mr. Macaroni himself, critics have predicted sweeping wins at the Oscars this year. The film follows Macaroni…
-
A Letter From the Editer
Hi everyone, The staff at The Real Mews would like to adress the alligations leveled against us recently by those in the media. First of all – how dair you! How daaiirr you!! You have alledged that our writers have never gone to gramer school – and that thay have never done gramer good –…
-
Piano Man Down
Yesterday evening, legendary musician William Joyel suffered lethal but non-fatal injuries after stumbling from the top of his own piano. His manager, Rona Davidson, confirmed that William had indeed fallen to his demise and would never be able to live again. “The incident occurred on Saturday at John’s Tavern downtown,” Davidson explained. “As usual, William…
-
Captain Chicken’s Famous Recipe
Today we learned another fun tidbit about our favorite chef, Captain Chicken. Was his mother Wiccan? Well yes, but that’s not what we’re pickin’. Mr. Chicken is famous for offering his frickin’ chicken for a nickel a lickin’. And we ain’t trickin’. After perfecting his one hundred and three spice chicken, the captain knew he…
-
Poop Vs. Pee
For years, scientists have hotly debated the age-old question: Are you a poop or are you a pee? People who pee claim to enjoy higher metabolisms and a more active lifestyle, while people who poop tout the detoxifying benefits and increased metal acuity. As your reporter in the trenches, I decided to find out myself. I spent…
-
Four Score and Seven Years Before
In an event held by the Abraham Lincoln Association this afternoon, experts revealed that President Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address was in fact penned by his wife, Mary Todd Lincoln. Incredibly, this fact remained undiscovered until a week ago, when the original draft of her work was found in Chicago. “After her husband’s death, Mary moved into…
-
The Second Greatest Show on Earth
Three years ago, emerging Icelandic pop-star, Gorko St. John, departed the planet — and ultimately the dimension — using a then relatively unknown form of bio-travel. Since branded the P/uː/pi Blastoff, the technique has long been hailed as a cheap and accessible form of bio-traversal, however, it has also being condemned by astrophysicists for inadvertently…
The Real Mews 