Tag: travel
-
Safety First at Triassic Park
Have you ever heard of an amusement park filled with dinosaurs?! Well, today millions of people experienced the grand opening of the world’s first dinosaur “zoo” — Triassic Park — and surprisingly, nothing went wrong! From its inception, there were no incidents involving a compromised raptor transport crate — something that theoretically could have sparked…
-
That Day in Leningrad
I ate too many shrimp in the fall of ’64 my belly ached I couldn’t take it anymore I tooted once or twice and then there were more as I became the one who had to use a bathroom in Leningrad I searched high and low for a place to go but I was turned away or told…
-
The Guy Who Owns the Mall
Good morrow, everyone. It is I, Dan Abramson, aka The Guy Who Owns the Mall. Welcome to my first reoccurring column, given to me by the cats that work at The Real Mews. Now I can say what I want – when I want – and I no longer have to contain my angry tirades…
-
The Classic Story of Tony Macaroni
The entertainment world was set ablaze Tuesday when The Classic Story of Tony Macaroni was released to eager movie-goers in theaters across the United States. Touted as the only true story of his life, and personally endorsed by Mr. Macaroni himself, critics have predicted sweeping wins at the Oscars this year. The film follows Macaroni…
-
The Second Greatest Show on Earth
Three years ago, emerging Icelandic pop-star, Gorko St. John, departed the planet — and ultimately the dimension — using a then relatively unknown form of bio-travel. Since branded the P/uː/pi Blastoff, the technique has long been hailed as a cheap and accessible form of bio-traversal, however, it has also being condemned by astrophysicists for inadvertently…
-
Margo Bobbins’ Angelic Housekeeping
Hello monsters! I must apologize to you in advance for a lack of recent “Devilish Dish” columns on this website. Borton hasn’t been well the past several weeks and has asked me to take over. Oh muensters, I’m so worried about him. He gets so mad. After making his traditional Tuna Samsarini, he fell to pieces…
-
Borton Brahms’ Tuna Samsarini
Hello again, I’m Borton Brahms, an award winning restaurateur and proud owner of over forty failing hotels. At some point, I promised that I would show you how to make a beautiful Tuna Samsarini, but then my stupid sister Margo took all of my recipes and threw them straight into the bidet!! But no bother.…
-
The Opposite of Pure Joy
If it’s up to Ericka Hyatt, today at noon everyone on Earth will collectively hold hands and sing Dustin Beaver’s “Owie.” Barges have been lined up bow to stern across the planet’s oceans, and canyons have been filled with concrete in anticipation of this tremendous event. The two and a half minute a capella is being…
-
Ham and Cheese Toasties
Hello and welcome to another stunning edition of The Devilish Dish. You may not know this, but I’ve always had a passion for flying around in bubble cars. Yes, I, Borton Brahms, routinely fly to a fro in a hovering motor machine whilst wearing a tweed cap and delighting my fellow countryfolk with elaborate and…
The Real Mews 