Category: The Guy Who Owns the Mall

• All Dans Go to Heaven

  

  The guy who owned the last American mall, Dan Abramson, passed away last Friday after a long battle with failure. He was 54 years old. Dan’s only financial asset in life, the Okanawa Valley Mall – an albatross he often referred to as his ‘personal hell’ or ‘God’s revenge’ – will finally be bull-dozed on Monday. Local…

  G. M. Byrne

  May 5, 2026

  The Guy Who Owns the Mall, The Real Mews

  art, classicrealmews, comedy, fiction, humor, local mall, malls, Max and Grace Studios, short stories, therealmews

• The Guy Who Owns the Mall

  

  Good morrow, everyone. It is I, Dan Abramson, aka The Guy Who Owns the Mall. Welcome to my first reoccurring column, given to me by the cats that work at The Real Mews. Now I can say what I want – when I want – and I no longer have to contain my angry tirades…

  G. M. Byrne

  July 26, 2025

  The Guy Who Owns the Mall, The Real Mews

  art, classicrealmews, comedy, fiction, food, humor, mall, shopping, short stories, therealmews, travel, writing